Here’s Your Shrine: Bad Moments in Gaming

It's a clear sign. Let's see if others can read it.

It’s a clear sign.
Let’s see if
others can read it.

I’m a big fan of comedian Bill Engvall. He’s closer to to my own age, so I relate quite well to his jokes about family life and observations of people in general.

His signature joke is called, “Here’s your sign.” When people say or do remarkably stupid things, Bill imagines up a witty, often sarcastic answer to their obliviousness, on the premise that some people should have to wear a sign announcing to all that they have just been stupid.

Gaming has these great moments, too. In the case of DDO, the stupid illustrate their incompetence during the course of adventures in a myriad of blunders into traps, bad choices in fighting, bragging before they die, and other creative ways to kill themselves.

You’ve been there. You might be in a party in part 4 of the “Delera’s Tomb” quest chain. Experienced players know that the starting hallway is trapped. But we’ll sit back, grab our popcorn and wait for somebody to forget.

Ding.

“Did I just find a trap?” the hapless player asks.

“No, you just transformed yourself into a more invulnerable character,” another player says.

In these cases, other party members pick up their soulstone and carry it to a place of safe haven for the temporarily insane, mis-prepared and distracted.

“Here’s your shrine,” the rescuer says.

So I’ll recap a few great moments where great gaming is interrupted by great stupidity, often to other party members delight, by compiling some of them from the web and past DDO forum posts.

And once I put on my +5 Moronic Hat of Great Shaming, I shall relate a time or twenty-two where I, too, threw my own brain under the Stupid Bus.

Nominations from the OurDDO Contributors

I’d thought I’d start where the soil is fertile.  Members of OurDDO and the late MyDDO have already documented and archived their Moments of Shame.

So out comes the clothesline, friends. I’m airing your own dirty laundry.

Newlywed. Former DDOCast host. Experienced gamer. We could use these titles to describe our own GamerGeoff. Today, however, we shall note his own recollections of when he and fellow party members rolled a 1 in gaming.

Of greatest note, read on about how Geoff made several critically bad assumptions about a “Group of Wrongness” he had joined in a run in “Taming the Flames.” Personally, it’s one of my favorite quests. But then, I play Monks. I have great saves, love freezing weapons and rarely have problems in that quest, even when soloing. But for the non-evasive, fire-prone players among us, life is always stimulating there. Geoff began writing and carrying his own signs of shame throughout that one. He got lots and lots of assists from the zerging, inexperienced party members.

And Geoff recollects how his guild, the Halfling Commandos, redefined the word “chaos” in a “Tower of Despair” run when their tanker for Sulommades discovered that having no fortification gear can make his job harder.

Our lovely BonnieBew shared with us some selfies of silly last September in the form of a series of YouTube videos. I like the titles more than anything. “Tomb of the Gynecologist” just sounded like a disaster in the making. For Bonnie, that seemed to be true.

OurDDO administrator and Filker Extraordinaire Evennote has humbly shared many moments of involuntary shrineage on her blog. There are good moments in tough gaming where, eventually, everyone’s resorted to gaming in the buff. She recants, in song, how hirelings are often the cause of many moments where they hand you your own soulstone, thanks to their recklessness. She’s a great player but has been saddled with a few party members who stretch her good gaming abilities to the limit to where something breaks. Often, it’s the player that tried to exceed Even’s infinite frikkin’ patience. I’ll say it for Even: She can’t fix stupid.

And as for me…

I’ll just make a short list of my shame.

  • I can’t recall how many times that I’ve killed one of my Monks, returning to the guild ship to repair, replenish and rebuff. I can, however, recall with regretful clarity how, while still with less than 10 HP, switched myself from Earth Stance to Fire Stance to improve my Wholeness of Body healing. I killed myself as my HP changed from 10 to -1o HP so many times that some guildies think my floating soulstone on the ship is a new ship buff item.
  • There was the time where Syncletica was using the training dummy, smacking it hither and yon. I gave it a solid Void Strike hit and…the training dummy disappeared. “What did you do!?” the guild leader asked, trying to figure out what happened to the poor thing and checking the anchor point for the dummy in disbelief. Turns out that I wasn’t alone and the game had to make an update because the Monks were sending dummies into the afterlife all over the place. (My guild leader suggests that I and other Monks had punched our dummies back in time, to the old Marketplace bazaar. Look around the grounds of the end-fight to “The Chronoscope.” It’s filled with training dummies.)
  • And there’s the recent blog post on how the devs seem to hate giving healing amplification to half-elves. I ranted and raved until a few forum posters handed me my sign. I was a victim of Turbine Doublespeak. Players were trying to gain Improved Recovery from the Half-Elf racial tree not only through the normal racial enhancements but by taking the Half-Elf Monk dilettante that has the same thing.
  • Any time I enter “Irestone Inlet” without any Lesser Restoration potions.
  • Hell, any time I enter the Inlet with a party. There’s just something about that quest that brings out the idiot in all of us.
    • Party member A and C go this way
    • Party member B and D go another way
    • Both realize they’ve died too far away to reach the shrine
    • Scartongue holds up a sign saying, “You’ve just been schooled by a kobold.”

Here’s Your Shrine: The Board Game

There are quite a few forum threads where players recount great moments in game fail. Surely you have some tales of your own.

For the holiday season, feel free to recount your moments of shame or, better, someone else’s great fail, in the comments section. It’s fun for levels 1 to 100–join us!

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. ddomicki
    Dec 18, 2013 @ 09:58:19

    🙂 My embarrassing moment, I had just died in a quest and released, I was running back to the ship, switched to the phiarlan trinket to gain some run speed, and fall down incapacitated. I was a lvl 25? character and was rescued by a lvl 10 paladin or was it cleric. 😛 I was wearing a hp item in trinket slot, so unequipping it it.. you know. *feeling dumb*

    Oh, another, dying in epic PA (tree form), used to leave you poisoned (if you had the form active), so as soon as you got back up after release, you’d die again. I was dying and dying, over and over until I realized I needed to turn the form off.

    • teachersyn
      Dec 18, 2013 @ 10:03:01

      There’s a dark part of me that would love to make a video where people are found incapacitating themselves, especially in public places. 🙂

      • FuzzyDuck81
        Dec 18, 2013 @ 17:19:45

        I created my 1st bladeforged, declined training (was just using it to figure out some enhancements for a planned build) so stepped out into the public area, walked forward forgetting i didn’t have feather fall & just plummeted to the ground – bang, dead 🙂

        And there are always the fun times that can be had with potions of wonder… and theyre now back in the store, 25tp for a stack of 25 I’ve already spent my entire VIP points grant on them for the past 2 months.

        Our guild also has a forum thread where we share particularly amusing quotes, a number of them are due to some rather silly incidents: https://www.ddo.com/forums/showthread.php/217132-Sooooo-The-newblood-move-over-to-thelanis We’ve been around in the game for a while now, starting back on Devourer & have never really gotten out of the whole “perma-newb” thing 🙂

        • teachersyn
          Dec 18, 2013 @ 18:46:36

          “Perma-newb.” Now that’s a guild with honor…and complete recklessness. 🙂

          • FuzzyDuck81
            Dec 19, 2013 @ 03:26:37

            Well it’s a loose guild rule that we all play halflings & as everyone knows, halflings can get away with that kind of silliness – though mine tend to be genetic anomalies or riding around in their own iron man suits, which does mean guild runs tend to look like a harassed teacher leading a school trip.

  2. EvenNote
    Dec 19, 2013 @ 07:16:02

    It’s a shame that Rest of the Eladrin statuettes are BtA, because I have this mental image of you grabbing a soulstone, using a statuette, and saying, “Here’s your shrine.”

    And thank you for the plug! Not to indulge in shameless self-promotion, but a while back I actually did a blog about silly ways to die: http://ddoeven.wordpress.com/2012/02/03/slayer-count/

    I should update that though, as I have a friend who drowned in Gwylan’s. When she told me that, I had to stop and think for like 10 minutes trying to figure out where the hell there was even WATER in Gwylan’s.

    (Also, totally unrelated but wanted to share – Even’s a monk now! Well, a monk with rogue splash.)

    • teachersyn
      Dec 19, 2013 @ 08:18:44

      I knew you had several posts on undignified ways to die but you have been such a prolific poster that I couldn’t find them right away. Definitely worth a re-read for chuckles.

      Someone drowned in Gwylan’s? The only place where there’s water is in the troll cave where you get the supply crates. I’ll take a guess that they grabbed many crates and the weight of them (with perhaps a bad effect going off) made them incapped underwater. Now THAT’S an achievement I want to hear about!

  3. Kavatch2.6
    Dec 19, 2013 @ 09:53:26

    I usually die in earth stance, so whenever I release and need to get somewhere fast I don’t want -10% move speed slowing me down so I switch stances and die. This happens pretty much every time I play ddo past 11 o’clock. Though the best one I can remember is when I did tempests spine in a full raid group of first timers. It took 5 hours to figure out where we were supposed to go and what we were suppose to do but we finished it with only 28 deaths.

    • teachersyn
      Dec 19, 2013 @ 13:58:29

      It’s amazing to me how Tempest’s Spine, so maligned by many players as a “non-raid,” is still quite the place where players die like zombies invading a shotgun factory. I love the thing myself. Maybe its because I know how to lead it. 🙂 And yeah, I sometimes forget about Earth Stance…

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